This is my first blog post; that isn’t to say I haven’t blogged before, it’s just my first one here. As someone who suffers from depression, I frequently battle the inner demons that make my life difficult. They’re the demons that make it hard to get out of bed some days. The demons that whisper how worthless and useless I am. The demons that make me wonder if life is truly worth living.
I’m a high functioning depressive. For many, I seem like a perfectly happy, normal human being. I’m an overachiever, a perfectionist, a leader. That just means I hide it well. Inside, I fight those demons. It’s an exhausting fight. A fight that, if I don’t win, I’ll die by my own hand.
Currently, I’m not taking medication. Having no affordable health insurance since the end of August 2016, I haven’t been able to afford the one drug that would make my life that much more livable. Previously, I took a generic Prozac, and, it did a pretty good job of keeping the demons at bay. A side effect of it was that I managed everyday stress pretty damn well.
This blog is my attempt to make sense out of my life, to battle those demons head on, and to perhaps one day learn to love myself again instead of all this self-loathing that I harbor.
Welcome to the journey.